Thus, The Service Club Continues to Deny
by GenericOregairuFan
Summary: A series of gentle, light-hearted oneshots about the Service Club and everything that entails.
1. New Year's Resolutions

_**A series of gentle, light hearted oneshots about the Service Club and everything that entails.**_

 **AN: I usually consider myself pretty bad at summaries/blurbs, but I don't think there's much to say other than that. This is where I'll be posting my less depressing material.**

 **This one shot focuses on Yukino.**

* * *

 **Thus, the Service Club Continues to Deny**

 **New Year's Resolutions:**

New Year's Resolutions, Yukino thinks, are a concept so brazenly _human_. It is part of our very nature to be unsatisfied. There is a reason, she thinks, that it is in the Ten Commandments of one of the oldest religions in the world to not covet a neighbour's possessions. We have a way of being jealous even if there isn't really any particular motive to be jealous. Even if we lived in a house made of gold, we'd probably manage to convince ourselves that our neighbour's house, made of paltry timber and wood, was somehow superior.

We're trapped in an endless cycle of wishing for betterment, and dissatisfaction when that betterment turns out to be less than it seemed.

It's depressing to her that she's thinking so pessimistically. There are many traits she shares with her fellow Service Club member, Hikigaya Hachiman, but she wishes one of them were not a tendency to, as he puts it, 'monologue'. But, then again, pessimism isn't hugely dissimilar to realism, and she's always seen herself as realistic.

She's never really had any need for New Year Resolutions before. Yukinoshita Yukino is aware of the esteem surrounding that name at Soubu High, and though it may be a little arrogant, she's always thought that was rather deserved. She studies diligently and is top in most of her classes as a result- even without revision, she'd be higher than most. She knows that she's pretty; the multitude of rushed confessions she's received over the years suggest as much. Before the Service Club, she'd thought these were the only things that mattered.

Friends have a weird habit of changing the way you think.

That's how she's ended up sitting at her desk at home, with a notebook on top of it and a fountain pen in hand.

Trying not to think too much of her bizarre, rather convoluted reasons for arriving at this point, she set about putting the pen to good use.

1: ...

Sh thinks for a moment. What should the first of her resolutions be, she wonders?

She doesn't have to think for very long.

1: Ensure grades remain exceptional.

This one is common sense. They were a semester into their third year, and university is looming above them. If she wants any hope of realising that old, almost antiquated, dream of changing the world then she needs high attainments.

However, that has been something of an unspoken New Year's Resolution for years now. A subconscious mantra that echoes in her mind whenever she studies.

Her second also comes quickly.

2: Collect and continue to support the latest line of Pan-san merchandise.

Does this resolution even need explaining? Pan-san is a gift to this world, and it should be mandatory in her eyes to buy said gifts.

Her third, however, requires a little more thought.

3: Strive to always return Yuigahama-san's texts.

She glances at the words she's written. It's indeed true that her friend gets pouty with her whenever she neglects their mobile conversations, but they don't quite capture her compulsion in the way she wishes.

She crosses it out.

3: Communicate more with Yuigahama-san.

This is better, she thinks, nodding. She wants to be more open with her friend, despite how embarrassing it may seem at times. In fact, why not incorporate that feeling?

3: Communicate more with Yuigahama-san, even if instinct suggests you shouldn't.

Those are her New Year's Resolutions. Written in immaculate, swirling kanji, waiting to be carried out with her usual determination to succeed.

Only there's another.

She sighs and crosses her arms, a little childishly. The slightest hints of a flush are emerging on her cheeks. This is futile, she thinks. I should be focusing on the important aspects of life, not... not nonsense of this kind.

Yet, pushing aside her numerous misgivings, Yukino picks up the fountain pen once more.

4: ...

She contemplates for a while longer.

4: Change...

She crosses it out.

4: Improve...

More thinking.

4: Improve relationship prospects with Hikiga-

She frantically crosses it out, blush rapidly increasing in colour like cherry blossoms in the spring.

4: Improve relations with Hikigaya-san.

Better. It seems more disconnected, but is still open to misinterpretation. Imagine if her Nee-san discovered this (which knowing Haruno, she probably would). She'd never hear the end of it until the day she died.

4: Improve friendly relations with Hikigaya-san.

Better still, but... the words feel hollow. It's as if she's lying to herself, and Yukinoshita Yukino never lies.

She inhales deeply, and drops the pen in exasperation. Her fingers clutch the hem of her school skirt. Why is this so difficult? It's just Hikigaya-san. Gross, stupid, perverted, fear-of-chastity-loss inducing Hikigaya-san.

But also... but also kind Hikigaya-san. Determined, considerate, observant, culturally aware, endearingly socially inept, admittedly not ugly Hikigaya-san-

She buries her head in her hands in embarrassment, knees held closely together.

This is futile, Yukino repeats to herself.

But another part disagrees. Perhaps it's the perfectionist in her- though these New Year's Resolutions aren't exactly the most important piece of work she'll ever complete, she'll hate herself it if they're left _in_ complete. Thus, after a few moments of internal consternation, the pen finds a way back into her hand.

4: Do not insult Hikigaya-san at every available opportunity.

Valid, but not quite right.

4: Attempt to be more companionable with Hikigaya-san.

Too generalised.

4: Talk to Hikigaya-san more regularly and with more transparency.

Too specific.

4: Attempt to appeal to Hikiga-

She draws multiple lines through this one. Her blush is turning from pink to scarlet.

4: Convince Hikigaya-san of your innumerable attractive qualities.

Isn't this just rephrasing her last dismal attempt?

She refuses to give up, but is beginning to get the sense that's she's hit a brick wall, with no visible way of getting around it.

Then, suddenly she has the right wording, as abruptly and without warning as a flash of lightning. Slowly, she lowers her pen to the page.

4: Grant Hikigaya-san's request.

He asked for something genuine.

So far, for better or for worse, the Service Club has always satisfied their clients. Yukinoshita Yukino has no intention of changing that now.


	2. Love and Pokemon Moves

**AN: Thanks for your reviews to the first one-shot. Since Anniversary is my main fic, updates for this will be less frequent. Still, I hope you enjoy them when they come.**

* * *

 **Thus, the Service Club Continues to Deny**

 **Love and Pokemon Moves:**

They say that time flies when you have fun. For once, Hachiman, the monster of logic himself, cannot see a fault or a loophole in this creaking old figure of speech. Apart from the obvious, that being the absurdity in claiming that time could move faster or slower, it did at least ring true. It certainly seems that the happiest moments in life are the shortest.

However, he can suggest an amendment to it. A change in wording.

Namely, this: time flies when you're content.

The reason for such a change can be seen in his own life. During the hour he spends in the Service Club every school afternoon, he would not describe his mood at happy. On occasion, it can be- when he manages to better Yukino in their verbal spars, for example, or when Yui mispronounces a word to both his and club president's collective amusement. But, for the most part, it is more a feeling of relaxed satisfaction than outright ecstasy.

For example, right now. Currently, he is sitting in his usual chair, with his usual perfectly prepared cup of tea at hand, with a light novel in his lap, as usual. Yui is playing on her phone. Yukino is also reading.

There is a lull in the conversation. A silence. As a loner, Hachiman finds it inconceivable that riajuu would find silence to be as insufferable as they do. He finds it ironic that often, the people with the least to say are the ones that talk the most.

He turns the page of his light novel. Half way down the page, there is a joke which he laughs it. The condescending glance he receives from Yukino makes him regret doing so.

"Something tickle your humour gene, Hiki-germa?"

"I'll have you know the joke in question deserved my laughter."

"Nothing deserves that disgusting abomination you claim to be a laugh. It's the auditory embodiment of lewdness."

"But if your first instinct is to assume lewdness, wouldn't that mean your mind is itself lewd?"

She snorts. "Amazing. Not only did that statement make absolutely zero sense, but it was also painfully unfunny."

"It wasn't supposed to be funny. It was supposed to be logical."

"You clearly have a different definition of logic to me."

"Thank you! I'd prefer not to have anything in common with you."

"My pleasure."

The silence returns after their latest bout of insults. There wasn't a clear victor in that one, both Hachiman and Yukino think to themselves. I must strive to improve my performance.

Yui is so acclimatised to their squabbles that she barely pays attention to them anymore. Only if they reach a level of excessive tension will she intervene. Instead, she has something else on her mind.

"Hikki, Yukinon..."

Neither look up, but are both paying attention.

"Yes, Yuigahama-san?" Yukino replies, at last.

"What do you guys think about love?"

It's an unusual question that takes them both by surprise. They glance up from their books.

"... I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."

"Oh, you totally know what I mean," Yui says dismissively, only to be met by a blank stare. "Come on! Like, romance and relationships and stuff."

Hachiman rolls his eyes and returns to his book. "Is this by any means related to the yearly Day of Torture?"

Yui frowns in puzzlement. "Day of Torture? Is that, like, a boy thing?"

"I believe he is referring to the upcoming Valentines Day next week, Yuigahama-san."

She gasps, aghast. "Day of Torture?! How can you call it that, Hikki?"

"Don't ask such questions. You'll trigger another monolog-"

"With great ease and certainty, as a matter of fact."

Yukinon groans, and fixes Yui with a 'we-talked-about-this' kind of stare. She returns it sheepishly.

"You see, a friend of a friend once recounted to me-"

"In other words, yourself-"

" _A friend of a friend_ once recounted to me a Valentine's Day of old. It transpired in middle school. In the week building up to it, all of their classmates spoke of the event with such profound excitement that they could not help but be caught up in the frivolous atmosphere. But hope is the root of all disappointment. And, of course, when the day arrived, they were the only person in what felt like the entire school who didn't receive any chocolates whatsoever. Not even pity chocolates."

He closes his eyes, with great anguish.

"It was, without a doubt, one of the most torturous days of my- sorry, their, life. Hence, the more appropriate name I have labelled it with: The Day of Torture."

Both Yukino and Yui's features are scrunched with distaste at his monologue.

"The extent of your wretchedness is truly astonishing, Hikigaya-kun."

"Silence, woman. I don't require your pity."

"That's fine- I had no intention of giving it-"

"So, Yukinon, what do you think of love?" Yui interrupted, trying to steer the conversation back in the right direction.

"How would she know? The only things she has any emotional capacity for at all are felines. And herself, of course."

She scoffs, but Hachiman does not fail to notice the slight tinge of red on her cheeks. "T- that's most certainly not true."

"Yeah," Yui adds, nodding fervently. "Yukinon also loves Pan-san!"

He smirks a little as the red tinge becomes a fully fledged blush.

"Yuigahama-san. Would you please refrain from embarrassing me in front of others? Even if the individual in question can barely be considered a person, it-"

"I think that it's adorable."

Hachiman looks up from the light novel, attention well and truly captured. "Wait. Yukinoshita or love?"

Could this be the day that Yurigahama and Yurinoshita's relationship was finally confirmed?

"Well... both! But mostly love."

Hachiman's disappointment is almost palpable, much to Yukino's dislike. However, she decides to let this go in favour of listening to her friend.

"Awww. Just the idea of finding your soul-mate and, like, totally connecting with each other..." Yui sighs blissfully, a dreamy smile on her face. "It must be amazing."

She reaches over and tugs on Yukino's sleeve. "Yukinon, tell me what your perfect guy would be like!"

"Definitely not."

"But I told you mine ages ago! It was like, our first sleepover!"

"That was entirely your own choice. I, on the other hand, am more cautious when giving out such details."

"Oh come on!" She pulls out her secret weapons: the pout and the puppy dog eyes. "Pretty please."

"W- well... perhaps I can indulge yo-"

"Yay!" Yui exclaims happily, moving her chair closer to Yukino's.

A critical hit! Yukino had to pay out secrets to the victor! Yukino blacked out!

Hachiman is too busy smirking at his own internal joke to hear the start of Yukino's explanation. Ever so briefly, she glances in his direction, before looking away again in embarrassment.

She clutches the hem of her skirt.

"Well... I think that an individual who is... reliable, would be agreeable."

She goes silent, much to Yui's dismay. "That's not a type! You need to be more specific, Yukinon!"

"Reliable and considerate, then. A- and generous. Someone who could appreciate the supposedly trivial things in life..."

"Like?"

"... Like cups of tea... and books, and... and silence..."

Her voice trails down to a whisper at the end. Yui's eyes have widened a little. Her smile remains, if a little more awkward than usual.

"Y- yeah... that sounds nice, Yukinon."

Hachiman is beginning to get the sense he's intruding on something. As a result, he forces his eyes to remain fixed on the pages in front of him.

"Um... so what about you, Hikki?"

He makes himself look up to find Yui's lips slightly parted, and Yukinon averting her gaze, cheeks still red.

He coughs.

"Is this really necessary? Opinions on love as an entity itself are hugely subjective-"

"Just answer the question, Hikki."

"..."

He contemplates what to say.

"Are... are you sure you want to know?"

"Y- yes."

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you."

He puts down his light novel, steeling himself.

"First and foremost, a superb grill would be essential, closely followed by, at the very least, a passable face and bac-"

"Ew! Gross! Disgusting! Hachiman!"

Within moments, Yukino's book has been snatched and thrown, planting itself firmly into Hikigaya Hachiman's face.

Yuigahama used Fling!

But, if Hachiman were actually a Pokemon, the move would only have reduced his HP by a half, at the most. It was a small and readily paid compensation for his move in the previous round.

Hachiman used Diversion.

It was super effective.

Then again, it might also have been Self Destruct.


End file.
